Updated: Aug 30
There’s something about wedding-planning that brings out people’s needs to give their opinions about everything. Unsolicited advice is annoying at best, and highly stressful at worst! Your family wants to see you have a lovely day, but their idea of lovely and your idea of lovely may be two different things. If difficult family members are making it hard for you to enjoy your wedding planning, here are some tips on dealing with them:
Pick your battles
If your dad has had his heart set on saying the first Sheva Brachot but you really wanted it to be the Rav of your community, then it might be worth considering who it means more to. Yes, it’s your wedding, but giving in on something relatively small just might make your dad happier than insisting on your own way would make you.
Put your foot down when it counts
On the other hand, there are just some things that are too important to allow someone else to dictate. If you and your chatan are vegetarians, for example, and it’s important to you not to serve meat at your wedding reception, then don’t hesitate to do what you wish, despite your future father-in-law’s insistence that he must have prime rib.
Recognize that money has power
If your parents are paying for your wedding, then they’re going to have to have some input. It’s not fair to expect them to pay the bill while not making any decisions. If something is very important to you and they’re being difficult, then you may have to find a way to pay for it yourself or find a less expensive alternative.
Just try to de-stress and not worry about the little things
Remember, this is just one day; the important thing is how you relate to these people, along with your soon-to-be spouse, for the rest of your life. Make compromises where you can and if you feel your blood pressure rising, take a breather and come back to whatever the issue is on another day.
Staying calm and treating everyone respectfully, even when they’re getting on your last nerve, is important. Remember that weddings are stressful for everyone: Try to put aside any hard feelings and focus on the good things to make your wedding day a success!
If the stress is getting to you and all you want is someone else to deal with everything, call Weddings By Totally Tanya Today.